| 15 friends |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|11:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Yellowcard - Believe | ] |
got this idea from Marie's entry, since i dont have 15 friends on here,
ill just post 15 random real friends. you will never know who
these statements are about, so don't even ask. I chose 15 random
friends, and wrote a little message to them.
1. fuck you, you inconsiderate close minded asshole.
2. i love you - thanks for being a great friend.
3. i love you as well
4. thank you for helping me through hard times
5. you are one of my best friends, yet you manage to piss me off - go figure
6. "everything is gonna be allright, be strong believe"
7. i will always be better at tennis!!
8. you are too fucking conservative. hell, i am conservative, but DAMN DUDE!
9. thank you for being a great friend
10. why do you have to live so far away?
11. i should really get to know you better
12. fuck you as well
13. seriously, FUCK YOU!!!
14. if it wasn't for your best friend, i wouldn't mind being better friends with you, you seem like a great person
15. why aren't we friends any more?
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|04:57 pm] |
been busy - will update sometime
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| The Wisdon of George Carlin |
[Aug. 29th, 2004|01:12 am] |
"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind."
-George Carlin |
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| bored |
[Aug. 26th, 2004|02:24 am] |
Atomship – Pencil Fight
This life spreads like cancer as nothing here is real.
Leave me here by the bus stop with my pencil made of steel.
So it's time. It's just time....
Well I'm not much for the classroom teacher teach me if you care.
I can't pay much attention with that ruler in your hand.
So it's just time.
Cause I'm thinkin' Pencil fight, here we are.
Pencil fight, break me down.
Well I'm not much for the schoolyard teacher catch me if you can.
Ya leave me here by the swing set with my pencil broke in hand.
Oh it's fine. Shattered shards of graphite as they're flying through the air.
I'll open eyes quite slowly with the splinters in my hair.
So it's time.
Cause I'm thinkin'. Pencil fight, here we are. Pencil fight, break me down.
It's just time, oh my, oh my.....
"In this world no one leaves alone.
For the only way we leave is in death and in death my friends ya leave with one thing and that one thing is pride.
And pride throughout changes in time between the sky that you love to the ground that you hate.
Pride between everything that once was your pride, can never die."
Pencil fight, here we are. Pencil fight, break me down.
Don't you see we have problems here? Problems here at my home
--------
So anyways, it has been a long ass time since I have updated this beast. I have had a lot of stuff going on, and I really shouldn’t even be doing this right now – as I have a 5 to 7 page paper due on the first day of school for AP European History, which I haven’t started to write yet. I have most of the research done.. I just have to write it.
Hmmz what to write about…
Well for starters, lets just ignore that last entry…
What next?
Oh yeah.. I have started applying for new jobs… working at fleet farm is giving me a headache (quite literally). I have had two interviews at best buy and the G.M. is “trying to find a place in the store that you can work in” – so he says.
Ooooo – another topic of interest. Last week I went to Nebraska, to see my dad and go to my sister’s wedding. I am so tired I don’t even want to write about it.. but I am going to. On Thursday – I think lol.. it has been a blur, I left for my dad’s house in Lincoln. After that 7 hour drive, we finally made it, only to wake up in the morning and drive up to my sister’s house in Broken Bow, which is three and a half hours away from my dad’s.
When we got there, I realized that I did not have signal on my phone, so I borrowed my dad’s to call Laura and see what is up. (she sent me a text earlier saying that “bad stuff” happened.) Basically what happened was that Kristin got fired (our department head, and a friend) and Lindsay got demoted to cashier, and she is soon leaving. Nobody knows why, because they can’t tell us why. GAR!
(so I thought I would insert a song.. random? Yes.. I know…)
Unloco – Drowning in it
Why are we here I always seem to ask myself
Question averted by the thought of someone else
And I'm hopelessly done with the things that I have tried to do
Should I give up and let the weight just fall on me
Day by day I struggle endlessly
There's nothing right
There's nothing good about this
There's nothing right
There's nothing great about this life
And I will never know
How it's supposed to be
I keep fighting with the things inside head
I used to feel so much better than this
I should be laughing but instead I'm just a mess
It's not right, it's not right to feel this way
I keep fighting with the things inside head
i dont know how much I could take of this
And now I feel I'm so drowning in it
It's not right, it's not right to feel this way
So you're gone what are we supposed to do
I told myself not to care through and through
And all this time seems so wasted
When in the end it was all for nothing
There's nothing right
'Cauz I'm in a fake fantasy
There's nothing right
'Cauz I'm in a fake misery
There's nothing right
There's nothing good about this
There's nothing right
There's nothing great about this life
And you will always be
Another fake part of me
Why do I always feel this way
And why do I always feel this way
And why do
I keep hiding but drowning in it
And I keep hiding but drowning in it
And I keep, and I keep drowning in it
----------
That is a great song, you know that? Meh.. what do you care, lol.
Anyways…
I am really bored right now, so I think I am just going to start writing random stuff.. I think… ya… Michael Moore is an asshole… lets talk about that…
“The dumbest Brit here is smarter than the smartest American” –Michael Moore
“Should such ignorant people [Americans] lead the world?” –Michael Moore
“There is no terrorist threat in this country. This is a lie. This is the biggest lie we've been told.” –Michael Moore, October 2003
"(Americans) are possibly the dumbest people on the planet ... in thrall to conniving, thieving, smug pr*cks. We Americans suffer from an enforced ignorance. We don’t know about anything that’s happening outside our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing.” –Michael Moore
Really now… I do not think there is a reason to listen to this guy. If you think about it, he is personally insulting you. And what the hell is with this whole ‘there is no terrorist threat’ bullshit? Oh – Kerry and his fucking 527’s can kiss my ass. Yes, lets let the democrats run them, but once a republican one comes out, lets stomp all over it and try to ban the book from stores. I mean… I obviously don’t agree with Bush at all on some of his views… but seriously… to hell with Kerry, and his little puppet Michael Moore. (Have you realized that Michael Moore and Mickey Mouse have the same initials? Poor Mickey…)
AND he needs to get his facts straight
Mike Moore: "Mein Kampf" was written long before Hitler came to power. And if the people of Germany had done something early on to stop these early signs, when the right-wing, when the extremists such as yourself (Bob Novak)..."
WRONG!
-Someone should inform Mike Moore that Hitler was on the LEFT (NAZI - National Socialist Party!!!)
-Mike is also wrong to accuse the President or anyone else of being akin to Hitler; Mike should look closer to home, to those who lurk in the left awaiting the right moment to lurch towards self-centered opportunity....the mirror would do!
Here is the full quote "The Patriot Act is the first step. "Mein Kampf" -- "Mein Kampf" was written long before Hitler came to power. And if the people of Germany had done something early on to stop these early signs, when the right-wing, when the extremists such as yourself (Bob Novak), decide that this is the way to go, if people don't speak up against this, you end up with something like they had in Germany. I don't want to get to that point."
http://www.newsmaxstore.com/nms/showdetl.cfm?&DID=6&Product_ID=1759 - Michael Moore is a Stupid Fat White Man
I wish I was 18 so I could vote.
I end this pleasant entry with another song…
A Perfect Circle – The Outsider
Help me if you can
It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired
So could you please,
Help me understand why
You've given in to all these
Reckless dark desires
You're lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess. I don't want to watch you.
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die
Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence
Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, I don't wanna watch you...
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die
They were right about you
They were right about you
Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, Coalesce, Coalesce
Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What's your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,
Do it somewhere far away from here |
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| ... |
[Aug. 9th, 2004|01:39 pm] |
I’m done.
Done being nice
Done helping out
Done being fake
Done with it all |
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| survey, and stuff |
[Aug. 6th, 2004|11:32 pm] |
|
Survey
I saw this in
Andy's Journal tonight, and i thought i would give it a whirl. **wheres one?!**
2. Last person you kissed: Andy
3. Last word you said: Later.
4. Last song you sang: Chad Kroeger - Hero
5. Last person you hugged: Nicole
6. Last thing you laughed at: Nicole
7.Last time you said 'I love you': Tonight
8. What's in your CD player: Skywind
9. What socks are you wearing: White ones..
10. What's under your bed: A bunch of crap..
12. Current taste: Aftertaste of Chocolate Cake
13. Current hair style: Straight forward.. i am lazy
14. Current clothes: my Fleet Farm shirt, and black shorts
15. Current annoyance: misquito bites.... several
Where's 16??17. Current desktop picture: Hard to describe.. here is a
screenshot18. Current worry: Too complicated... talk to me on aim if you really wanna know...
Where's 19??
20. Story behind your journal username:
I am Alex, and I was listening to the song "The Zephyr Song" by Red Hot
Chili Peppers when I made my AIM sn... and it kinda stuck
21. Current favorite article of clothing: My Georgia State Games t-shirt (because it brings back good memories, and it says <b>EVENT STAFF</b> on the back
22. Favorite physical feature of the opposite (same) sex: I had to add the "same" part, heh...Eyes/Smile <-- same as Andy..
23. Last CD that you bought: LostProphet's Start Something
24. Favorite place to be: My Room
25. Least favorite place: My Car (I drive too much)
26. Time you wake up in the morning: 11 when i dont have to work, or no school... 700 when i work in the morning... 645 when i have school
27. If you could play an instrument, what would it be: Alto Sax
28. Believe in an afterlife: Kinda goin thru some weird times right now.. I just dunno anymore (but I like to think Heaven is there :D)
29. Current favorite word/saying: "Striaght up Compton, WHAT?!"
30. Favorite book: The Da Vinci Code
31, 32, 33... :S - who knows?
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: I cant think of anybody right now.. and i feel bad about it
35. Favorite day: Friday, of course?
36. Where do you want to go: Hawaii, Austrailia, or Costa Rica
/37. What is your career going to be like:
Lawyer/Pharmacist/Cryptogropher? (LOL - definitely not sure on
that last one) <--- i was thinking the first two for me.. then the
third looked really good.. so i thought i would keep that as well :S
38. How many kids do you want: I Want two.. but.. ya.. obvious reasons why that wont happen
39. What kind of truck will you have: 1992 Silverado 1500 extended cab with a Teal stripe, and white for the main color *drools*
40. Type a line you remember from any book: *thinks* *thinks harder* *cries*
41. A random lyric: "It's too late to save me, you're too late" - Blink 182 - Stockholm Syndrome
42. Eye Color: Hazel
43. Hair Color: Brown
44. Righty or Lefty: Righty
45. Zodiac Sign: Leo
46. Innie or Outtie: Innie
DESCRIBE...
47. Your heritage: 12.5% Irish, 80% German, and the rest is... well lets just say i am a Mutt
48. The shoes you wore today: My work boots.
49. Your hair: Brown
50. Your weakness: controling my emotions..
51. Your fears: Dying, and many more..
51. Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni.
52. One thing you'd like to achieve: Happiness
WHAT IS..
53. Your most overused phrase on aim: lol.
54. Your thoughts first waking up: 'I don't want to go to work'
55. The first feature you notice in the opposite (same) sex: Eyes/Smile - Isn't this a repeat too? <-- yes
56. Your bedtime: Whenever i feel like it.. when i dont have to get up, it is around 3-4.. when i do, it is around 12-1
57. Your most missed memory: Not sure :/
58. Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi
59. McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
60. Single or group dates: Single
61. Adidas or nike: Adidas
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
63. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
64. Cappuccino or coffee: eeeeesh...
DO YOU...
65. Smoke: Nope
66. Cuss: ... i think if you know me.. lol... wow.. yes!
67. Sing: by myself :P
68. Take a shower everyday: Yes, of course?
69. Have a crush: is a boyfriend a crush? even though you have him? <~same question Marie :/ <--- same as andy as well
70. Who is he: Andy
71. Think you've been in love: Yes.
72. Want to go to college: Yeah
73. Like high school: For the most part, yes
74. Want to get married: Not Sure.. but most likely
75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Yes
76. Think you're attractive: no
77. Think you're a health freak: lol, no
78. Get along with your parents: mostly
79. Play an instrument: i played the Trombone at one time.. and hated it...
IN THE PAST 3 MONTHS, DID YOU OR HAVE YOU...
80. Drink alcohol: yes :(
81. Smoke: no
82. Done a drug: no
83. Made Out: yes
84. Go on a date: Yes
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: If i could, i would
86. Eaten sushi: Nope.
87. Been dumped: Nope
88. Made homemade cookies: Yep.
89. Been in love: yes
90. Gone skinny dipping: no.. that would get interesting tho
91. Dyed your hair: No
92. Stolen anything: no.. im not for that
HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
94. Been caught "doing something"no
95. Been called a tease: all the time *glares at mike*
96. Gotten beaten up: Nope.
97. Changed who you were to fit in: yes... too many times... life is like that, ya know?
GENERAL INFO...
98. my name is: Alex Brock Carroll
99. height: 6'2" w/ shoes... i think?
100. favorite toe: wtf?
101. in the morning i am: tired, and wanting to sleep
102. all i need is: i dont know..... that is the problem?
103. love is: Great!
104. if i could see one person right now: Andy
105. i dream about: i dont remember my dreams :(
ya.. so that is the survey...
Well, this week has been ok… not much going on..
Wednesday, I didn’t really do much… my grandma, aunt, and
little cousin came over. So I cleaned
all morning. Then Andy came over that
night… we just hung out, and stuff. I
really don’t remember that night much, or Tuesday, or Monday for that matter… I
really don’t know what is wrong with me right now. On Thursday morning, I woke up at 6:00.
Andy slept till 9:00… that lazy
ass, lol. While I was waiting, I made a
website for my Counter-Strike clan, that still isn’t all the way done… it is here. Thursday, we went to the Twins game. They lost, and that didn’t make me happy :(. But oh well.
After that, we went to Mandy’s house, and Andy got to meet her
folks. Her gaydar was going off right away
when she met him, she says. She has a great gaydar, she knew I was gay after
talking to me on the internet, it really bugs me, lol. Her parents are just awesome :D. We took her
little cousin to the park, and just talked.
(OOO a good song just came on, The Used – Blue and Yellow) After that, we went and talked in the gazebo,
I didn’t want to go home, for reasons that I don’t want to explain, so Mandy
just told us to stay, then her parents made us eat dinner with them, lol. Andy left at around 9:00. The goodbye
sucked, but it couldn’t have been done any other way. After that, I went back to Mandy’s house and
played with Nicole a lot. I got home at
around 10:15 or so. Today I went to
work, had a 6 hour shift, and came home.
Laura stole my car again, before I left work… so I stole hers… and
followed her to my house. I got home,
and went to Mandy’s to say bye to Nicole, and hang out.
Sorry bout the short post tonight… but I have to be at work
at 8:00 AM. So I am going to bed.. peace
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| I Feel So... |
[Aug. 3rd, 2004|01:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Slipknot - Circle | ] |
“The days
have come and gone, Our lives went by so fast, I faintly
remember breathing on your bedroom floor, Where I laid and told you, but you
swear you loved me more “
I was just listening to BoxCarRacer – There Is, and I started
listening to the words, and those words right there… they just seem so real to
me. And then these are the next words…
“Do you care
if I don't know what to say, Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?”
As I sit here writing this… I am just realizing how much my
life has changed in the last few weeks.
For once in my life, I am happy.
For once in my life, I feel free.
For once in my life, I have a life.
Not only have I been going to Andy’s all the time, but I have been
hanging out with a lot of friends. Take
yesterday for an example… I was home for maybe 20 minutes the whole day… that
is simply amazing for me. And today, I am
working 4-9, and then we are all hanging out at Kendra’s for a Bonfire tonight.
*switches songs, that slipknot – circle is
too depressing right now* mmmm… Keri
Noble :D.
Have you ever had one of those moments with your friends
where you all just don’t want to get up from where you are? That happened last night.. Laura, Kelly,
Eric, Justin, Kendra, and I were all sitting in Kelly’s Neon… yes, that is 6
people, in a Neon, lol. We sat in the
Perkins parking lot for ever last night, and that was after sitting in Perkins
for over an hour. During that hour that
we were in there, Justin and Brandon bought about $13 worth of fake
tattoos. They were 50 cents each
:-/. We only left to go to Eric’s place
to have a Bonfire, which wasn’t even a bonfire, lol. The only wood he had was soaked! So, most of the burning was done with
newspaper.
--
Ok, so time to clear up the entry two times ago.. I had to
open at work the next morning, so I really needed to go to bed, which I didn’t…
and I woke up late.. but what are you gonna do?
So anyways…
I decided to go over to Andy’s house on Friday night. His parents are sooooo nice. They took us out to eat, and then they asked
Andy if I wanted to stay the night.. I had no objections to that, for obvious
reasons, lol. Andy still was in a lot of
pain, though, which really hurt me to see.
I just whish I could make him feel better. While there, we watched Dead
Like Me on showtime (the season opener).
That was fun :). We talked a lot that night, and I think we got a lot
closer. That night/morning was the best
birthday present I could ever ask for. I
really didn’t want to leave in the morning.
But I had to, and I left almost an hour late! I didn’t really get in trouble this time..
since it wasn’t late at night, lol.
Saturday night, I went to the Lostprophets concert. On the way home, and I will never forget
this, my brother decided to drive 130 MPH down I-35, weaving through traffic..
it was fun, but I don’t think I want to be doing that again any time soon. I would have to say that their performance
was the best that I have ever seen.
Their opening band, Midtown, sucked though (and I thought they would be
good, they have some good music) but that didn’t matter. I could have sworn that this guy was hitting
on me.. but.. I wouldn’t have done
anything.. I have Andy :P.
Then on the way home.. There was a full moon (a blue moon as
well, on my birthday.. that’s creepy), and to the north of that, we could see a
thunderstorm going on. And then I looked
to my right side, as we were driving down Cedar, and I see Titties hanging out
the window of the car next to us. My
brother told them it was my birthday, so every girl in the car (there were
four) decided to flash us. That was fun
(and I am gay!). They tried to wave us
on to follow them, but my brother didn’t see it.. me and Feely (his friend)
yelled at him for that one.
On Sunday I hung out at Mandy’s all day. For 9 hours straight we just hung out. That is a record for us, I think. If her parents didn’t know that I was “about
as straight as a circle” they wouldn’t have let me stay over while they weren’t
there, so that was cool. We had stuffed
peppers for supper; her dad is an excellent cook. Then at night, she decided to start talking
to my online friends on my account. That
was funny.
--
And after all that good stuff that happened to me, somehow I
am still sad about something… God I hate this shit.
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| Can You Hear Me Scream? |
[Aug. 3rd, 2004|02:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | BoxCarRacer - Letters To God | ] |
"In this life, it’s just him and her who are present at the birth of
the world. All that we knew before in our lives...well..life is turned.
I am he, and you are her for all simplicity. The day I knew you would
leave. That day I died inside. I can barely breathe. I see you there,
moving, breathing....can you hear me scream? In this torrent we are
thrown in all directions. In a senseless world, You are there. You
epitome of perfection! Where is he as she's lost her will? In this
world where time is standing still. Then all the sudden, He walks, her,
home. There she is...then...he walks a-lone. As he wanders aimlessly
through the void, the days they turn into years. Those eyes....those
beautiful eyes of his. The eyes they drown in tears. The anguish, the
pain...can you hear me scream? There is no solution for this torture of
the soul. The way we are the way they were. Nothing can change what is
real. It's just a shadow of what's wrong. But as time flows, The time
with you the time is stirred. Nothing is ever the same again. My heart
confesses, I love you for , so long. And we realize a greater truth,
through the deepness Nox withholds that the hearts they turn, they turn
away when turned to. And as they turn, as we turn she says to go please
don't you cry. A change of events since that Love lost was found, night
turns to day. In that moment once again. Time is standing still."
I will write some more tomorrow morning - I am beat!
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| Birthday, and other stuff |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|12:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | LostProphets - We Still Kill The Old Way | ] |
Well, these last few days have been a BLAST!
To start it off.. Friday night I spent the night at Andy's. He
was still in a lot of pain, and it hurts me to see him like that.
We talked for hours and hours.. that was good. Then Saturday was
my birthday. I would have to say.. that being at his house was
the best part of my day :D. After I got home, my friend Kendra
bailed on me,.. that kinda sucked...
After that I went to the Lostprophets concert.... that show KICKED ASS!
And then today, I just spent the whole day at Mandy's house..
Sorry for the short entry.. but i have to work at 8 am tomorrow.. and it is 1 am now :S
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| Bad Company |
[Jul. 29th, 2004|02:31 am] |
Well, I am sitting here, listening to some Bad Company - and I thought
- Hey, I might as well post a journal entry about how fucking shitty
this week has been :).
It all started Sunday. I went to a friend's soccer game in
Blaine, which is over an hour away. Her team lost, but that is
not the point. After that, my friend's and I went to the mall,
where I received an unexpected call from Andy. His lung had
collapsed, and he was going to have to go to the hospital the next
day. So Mandy and I decided to ditch Nick, and go to
Andy's. We had fun there, though. Monday I talked to Andy
online. Apparently he was going to be having surgery on Tuesday,
so, being myself, I decided that I had to see Andy. So I went
over there. On Tuesday.. I was supposed to work 8-4. My
alarm clock decided to not work - oh fun! I woke up at 9:30 or
so, and said one work.. "fuck." So, I just bummed around all day,
and never left my house. Matt came over, we had fun sittin there
and talkin for a bit. (ok, this is random... I just felt like it
was the afternoon, and it is 2:30 AM, lol). After that, Autumn
decided to call, at 4 am.. So we talked until 5, or so. That was
good to finally hear her voice, after knowing her for over a year :P
Here is where the REAL fun starts.
This morning, I woke up, ready to go out and mow before it rained...
but first, I needed to check my online statement, to make sure all of
my checks had gone through. I was -$166.67. How? I do not
know. All I can tell you, is that I did NOT buy gas three times
in the last four days. So, I called my bank, they canceled the
payments, and refunded my Overdraft Fees. But, I then made the
choice to cancel my debit card, and close my checking account.
Tomorrow i go in to sign Affidavits saying that I did not purchase that
stuff, yadda yadda yadda. So now, after losing well over $200
somehow, i have $1.35 to my name, which I will use tomorrow on break at
work.
Then, to top it ALL off. Today I was just arriving to work.
I got into my parking spot, and it starts to POUR. So I decided
taht God hates me. I run inside, and guess what.. right when I
get in, it stops raining *shakes fists*
But, after work today, Kendra, Laura, Eric, and Brandon all went to
Kelley's and hung out, that was fun. Accept for the fact that
Andy tryed to call me from the hospital, and I didnt have service
really, so I couldnt hear him. I tryed to call back, and the
hospital said that they couldn't forward calls that late at night :(
.
This concludes my longest Live Journal entry ever... wow.. lol
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| Wow.. |
[Jul. 28th, 2004|02:56 pm] |
As if Andy being in the Hospital wasn't enough, Life decided to pull another fast one on me today. I was just curious to see how much money I have in my Checking Account, so I went online to check. I pulled up a page... well.. here.. take a look. http://brax.us/~prophet/transactions.jpg
Put it this way.. I didn't even leave the house yesterday, and yet, my account was billed 3 times, with 2 overdraft charges. And the day before that, I didn't buy ANYTHING. I supposedly went to the gas station 2 days in a row, honestly, who does that?! So I called the bank, and they decided to refund all of the Overdraft Charges, and refund i think 3 of the payments, which is fine by me, because I am now closing my checking account, and cutting up the debit card. Honestly.. This week just keeps getting better EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Anyways.. Andy called after he got out of surgery, even though i couldn't understand some of the stuff he said, it was really nice to hear his voice :). All went well, and he should be out Tomorrow, or Friday.
Anyways... (again) - I got to go... I have to sign some papers at my bank, and then i have to make it to work in an hour (ya, fuck that, there is no way I am making it, lol. Have a better day than me, to all :) |
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| Fun Stuff |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|01:08 am] |
I was randomly surfing the internet (not wanting to go to bed - because then my mind would start to wander) and I found this.
Fun Stuff, don't ya think? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|11:52 am] |
Can you tell that I love lyrics to songs? Well, anyways, Andy went to the hospitol today.. I am sooo worried about him.. and I really wish i could be there with him right now, and I cant really talk abuot it, so i wont,
Stabbing Westward - Shame
I only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was
Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I?
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know what's real without you
How can I exist without you?
I'm wandering around confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know what's real without you
How can I exist without you?
I stare in this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant like this
I never meant like this
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know what's real without you
How can I exist without you? |
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| Payday |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|02:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 1 and Pt.2 | ] |
Tomorrow is pay day, FINALLY! For the first time in several months, I
will actually have money to spend - i can't wait! The only downside to
this, is that I have been working my ass off! Literally, I think its
gone.. jk lol. But i have been working a lot, 5-6 days a week. I just
hope this check is enough to pay off my debt to Laura, Jeremy, my mom,
and Jacque.
Here are some kick ass lyrics to a few songs by Avenged
Sevenfold. Contact me on AIM of you want me to send them to you - I
doubt you can find them online.
I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 1
Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and (loved) most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me or cry while I'm away
It all built up, inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me, you're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name, I won't see you tonight
So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight.
And while I'm gone, everything will be alright.
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 2
Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide...suicide
I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please:.
Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.
(take back time)
I can see just fine, you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow
Nightmare - full of pain
I look back and see the twisted road
Best friends and despair took its toll
Take away
You can't be replaced
I'm left alone with you
in spirit and the words
you wrote to me
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me, I cared for
and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away
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